Expert Author Cassandra Mack
Finding the right man is one part common sense and one part preparation.
You can devise a plan to get that man - read on.
How do you find Mr. Right? That is the question that hundreds of women from every persuasion want to know. In these fast times of dating and mating and love on the run, it seems that more and more women want to know how to find the right man. For those who are starting over, just beginning or somewhere in the middle dating can be overwhelming. For many women dating has become a game of lies and manipulation.
Fear of being alone, or fear of blowing a rocky relationship has made some of us give up on love all together. When finding a partner seems like an insurmountable task it's easy to become overwhelmed by feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. The good news is, finding the right man is not as difficult as you might think. It's a matter of identifying the things you do to sabotage your chances as well as developing some common sense principles for selecting your mate.
Finding the right man is not about playing games or lowering your standards, it's about being honest with yourself and widening your mate selection options. Can you find the right man for the real you? Follow these guidelines and get ready to meet your mate.
1. Broaden Your Mate Selection Options
Start noticing men that you may not have noticed before. Don't limit yourself to dating a very specific type of man. Go out with different types of men and broaden your horizons. This does not mean that you should lower your standards. It simply means that you should get your wish list in order. Even if you don't make a love connection you've made a new friend. And remember he has friends.
2. Separate The Package From The Packaging
There's an old cliché that goes, "everything that glitters ain't gold." Stop looking for a man who looks good on paper. I realize this is easier said than done because, we live in a very materialistic society where people are judged by the labels they carry instead of their internal characteristics. When you choose a man based on superficial qualities you will end up emotionally bankrupt.
3. Don't Allow Friends And Family To Set The Standards For The Men You Date
It never ceases to amaze me, how many women allow their well-intentioned but clueless friends and family members talk them out of dating a guy because he didn't measure up to their standards. Are you willing to throw away your chance at happiness with someone special because other people don't approve of your choice? Unless they have some solid information to share with you politely tell them to bud out.
4. Ask Questions Before You Become Too Intimately Involved
Would you buy a car without asking the salesperson what features it has and finding out if you could take it for a test drive? Of course you wouldn't, because you want to select the right one. Then why would you become intimately involved with a man without asking him the right questions so that you can increase your chances of making the right choice. Ask questions about his family history, past relationships, goals and values. Find out what he thinks about family, love and commitment. Find out about his spiritual beliefs. By asking the right questions you'll have enough information to decide if you should pursue the relationship.
5. Develop An Emotional Bond Before You Have Sex
Picture this scenario. You meet a cute guy. Body parts are thumping. Before you know it you are getting your groove on. The next morning you feel awkward and embarrassed. You're wondering. Is he going to think I'm easy? Will I see him again? Should I pursue a relationship or should I play it calm, cool and collective? This whole scenario may have been prevented if you held back the booty until you established an emotional bond. Having sex too soon is one of the biggest mistakes that many women make. To ensure that you end up with an intimate partner instead of a screw buddy postpone having sex until you absolutely without a doubt know it's the right time.
6. Don't Date Men Who Belong To Other Women
Every woman has a wish list of characteristics she's looking for in a perspective partner, but on the top of that list should be the word "available". Unless you are a glutton for punishment your Mr. Right should not be attached to anyone else. If you find out that your ideal mate belongs to another stop seeing him immediately. You deserve your own man.
7. Pay Attention To Warning Signs That Tell You You're Headed For Trouble
Pay attention to that voice in your head or that gut feeling that tells you to stop, look and listen. The voice of intuition is your inner guide which protects you and leads you towards your ultimate destiny. Listen to it.
8. Treat Him The Way You Want To Be Treated
Set the standards for your relationship by treating your man the way you want to be treated. If you want him to be more romantic start by romancing him. If you want him to be open and honest start by being open and honest with him. Most importantly, don't play games, tricks are for kids.
9. Don't Fall In Love With His Potential
As women we have a wonderful way of seeing the potential in things. We can walk into an empty room and turn it into the Taj Mahal. The problem arises when we apply this same concept to our relationships. You end up falling in love with who you want him to become rather that who he really is. Remember, what you see is what you get.
10. Find Yourself Before You Find A Man
Being alone does not mean being lonely. Take this time to find out who you are. Develop personal goals and pursue them. Pamper yourself. Don't jump from one relationship into another. Enjoy spending time with yourself. It's your life. Live it.
If you follow these guidelines when looking for a mate you will eventually find the right man for the real you. You deserve the right man who is able to appreciate the real you.